Monday, November 22, 2010

(so ur a rocket scientest?)that dont impressa me much

on behalf of rackets i would like to apologise about the lack of updates. i have no doubt our massive fan base have been doing nothing but sit here on our blog hitting refresh waiting to hear about our wacky hijinks.  what did we write about last time?? oh yeh   mussel inn.  cool.  after that we dropped off our two american friends  and drove 15 hours to port chalmers.  me and oscar drafted up our first 'guido massacre' song.  its about an agrophobic guido called "the house mange".  we chilled out at port for a couple of days and refilled our ballsacks.   we busted a massive load  over the crowd the next night at  the cook in dunedin. altho the crowd  had diminished by the time we played cause every basically had rocked up to see there old mates alizarin lizard and left before we played. ALL Good tho,  they rocked the fuckin party and incited one of the most fucked up mosh pits id ever seen,it caused me to shit and piss at the same time  and i even saw one womens tits was mean. the next night we played at chicks hotel.we all dressed as guidos for the show. me and oscar drank a little bit to much and after wards vinnie said "wat the fuck". fair call vinnie. hector described the show as "gimmicky".   i think i talked to much shit. 

after that we drove up to lyttleton and played a show at el santo.  what a fucking cool place that is. crowd was decent as fuck  , it was basically good cunt fest 2010 with most of chch's good cunts making the trip out.  next day we drove to timaru.  the bar we played at was called "no 8 wired" and had tui themed decor along with fords hanging from the roof.they hooked us up a mean feed and a hotel room.  i went to sleep to the sound of 7 dudes makin masterbating noises as a joke and cracking up. i took the opputunity to actually rub one out and no one was none the wiser. next night we travelled up to  picton to play a show  but it turns out yeh we wernt actually  playing and instead a dude played ska music on his acoustic guitar. the owner still let us crash at his batch tho.  next day we  jumped on the ferry. paul cathro played some songs and it was kind of awkward because he was playin right in front of the rugby  and they had to go turn off the sound for him to start. a couple of old rugger buggers looked like they wanted to make him walk the plank off the boat!!!!LOL.   fuck im runnin outta steam.  1 sec brb.

the next show we played was in Paekakariki. we played to a 70 year old lady who was drunk and stoned , she let us crash at her house and fondled callums ballsack in the kitchen.   next day we ventured into wellington and met up with my gf maddi. good as bitch made the mish down so props to her.  we played outside of cosmic corner at 4.20. that was mean at least 200 people showed up to see us play/walk past us. chur wellington city.  that night we played at mighty mighty.  was a fuckin mean turn out and the crowd  was a bunch of cool dudes. later that night i went clubbing  and did a back spin on the dance floor.  "somebody spin my legs". 

we travelled up to palmerston and played at this place called 'royal hotel'.  we played with this fuckin mean band called "wolf pacts".  basically fuck all people showed up  but who cares man , we had a great time and gave it our heart and soul and basicaslly rocked the roof off the joint woo hoo!! got a mean hotel room as well.  i got a room with an en suite.but the en suite was just a carpeted room with a sink. not even any soap or a towel. wtf!! oh well i chucked a piss in there anyway all good. im sorry to start every sentence of this blog with "next day".  next day we travveled to gisborne and played at this place called "smash palace".  possibly the coolest venue ive ever seen.  there was an airoplane crashed into the side of it and cars coming out of the trees  and all sorts of crazy/buzzy shit. the bouncer was this fat cunt called 'womble'.  the whole night he told me i should write a song about greed.  "you could write about politicians, oil,  fat cats on queen street. it could be a hit man!!" he made me promise to come and save him from gisborne if i ever made money from it.  i found out later he had been hit in the head with a crowbar a while back and hasnt been the same since. 

we drove to napier the next day to play at cabana. i have nothing cool to say about this. about 20 people showed up. a lady called julia let me and the boys and maddi stay at her house.  my bed had a goosebumps blanket on it.  in the shower the was a frog radio.  that brings us up to now.  im staying at my dads house a couple of days until we go and play raglan on wensday. since the beginning of this tour i have put on weight, gotten stinkier and now have a rash on my inner thigh. i am probably 10% more hideous then when i started. i no longer have a house to live in. the future is not bright, my goal is to strangle one dread with his one dread  and replace him as auckland cities #1 social pariah. wish me luck guys!!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

if you wanna be a bird watcher you gotta have a thick neck

so we havnt loged in to blog for a while sorry guys. we have been having a really great time on this tour!!!
greymouth was really good we played at a place called franks cant really remember what happened. the next show was in Granity at the Lyric theater.. it was awesome a bunch of locals came down and were really supportive. we slept in the back of the theater it was really cold. i had to use a thin matteress as a blanket. the next day we hung around granity for a while and played on an electronic dart board. then we headed up the hill to Millerton to go and see our new friends we met the night before called Vorn and tania. there house was really cool, it ran off solar power and we watched a great show called the comic strip made by the guys from the young ones. vorn well and truly blew us out that night! the next day he showed us around millerton. back in the day it was a thriving cole mining town. he showed us the ruins of the old bath house and took us on a great tour that ended up at the old town hall which the town now runs a radio station from. Bedrock FM!!!

On the 2nd we arived in Riwaka leaving the rugged west coast behind. Wow what a great van trip amazing scenery. we played outside of the monkey wizard brewery in the afternoon. a couple of kids stoped to watch on their bikes. and we drank a few delicious beers. the next night we were in motueka which was a really swell time. the venue was hot mamma's!. we ate incredible pizza and played to a few really drunk girls who said we sounded like good night nurse. o well. they danced their pants off whic was cool. at the end of our set some dude came up and started free styling on the mic. crack up..then we went back to a dj called sporadic! s house. i accidently stole his sleeping bag. next night we rocked out in nelson at phat club..fuck it sounded phat. a crazy australina lady ranmbled to us for hours. ''look at my body'' ''think about me when im at metallica.''  "my life is lkike outragous fortune' LOLZ LMFAO. the next morning we had 3 hours to kill so we slept under a tree in the park next to the prohibation station. we met a couple of american girls called sage and aria who came out to the show. they had no plans so we decided to take them on the road. 10 people in the van and we were headin to the Tap in mapua!! this was one of the best shows so far. we had a great time. met the usual hillarious local guys who loved getting OTP and being racist. they were quite drunk so it was easy to take the piss out of them. we went back to andys pad the guy who runs the bar. he was really generous. gave us a munch and some beers. we had a spa when we got back to his house then crashed out after getting fucked up with a couple of his geezer mates. he had a pool table in his house. great fun.,

brings us to last night at the mussel inn - onekaka. the best show on tour so far and the last for the first leg...we played our best set and the crowd went nuts. heaps of belguim tourists. sold some cds which is always good. now we can buy ciggys. they brew their own beer there so we got OTP. we slept in a log house.
now im in an internet cafe in motueka. bugs and k pax went to return sporadics sleeping bag. we have a really long drive ahead of us all the way back to dunedin. im really baked so shouldnt be too bad.
we will be in dunedin for 3 days. we are hoping to practice a couple of new songs and get them ready to play them on the next leg. ding phat maynge.

Thursday, October 28, 2010


Barrytown was ding phat. 13 people came to the show at barrytown hall. we played cricket under the street light is was fun. this morning we went to the beach after getting woken up by a school teacher telling us the kids will be here at 12. we saw a tag that said 'NICKETA CHASE IS A NARKING P SLUT'.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Haha i stole Jeremy's computer

Today isn't Wednesday anymore, in fact if I were to have to guess, Id probably say it's Thursday. That means we're playing in Barrytown tonight!! Souns fat. We just played a gig at Woodstock Hotel in Woodstock. it was pretty epic, although the paper decided to be cocks and said the gig was on Saturday. I tried to record the gig but missed the record button for the Rackets set. I managed to get the end of the Porpoise set and the whole Lizard set, so you may one day be able to hear them. If you aren't lame then you should get to a town near us and come and party, coz if you don't then we'll do it without you and then you'll miss out. Don't be a cock.

Love from Bugs

naked saddle riding

fox glacier encore

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

i dont wanna wait, for my life to be over

tonight is our 10th show in a row. hard out shit man. i will do a run down of every show we have played so far:

bluff was mean

invercargill was mean as well , oscar got naked during our encore  of  our new song "fucking xtians".  he tucked his penis and testis between his legs . "mangina".  classic shit man.

waikaka  was cool, lu was a good bitch and cooked us up some lamb shanks and gave us heaps of free piss.

te anau  was a loose ass mutha fucka.  me and vinnie dine and dashed a mini golf course, ran off without payin haha suckas.  oscar got naked during  'fuxking xtians'  with a mangina again.  bar manager said it wasnt his cup of tea , we will never play there again but no hard feelings.  we tried going to sleep  but a guy ran in and called us pussys and then poured vodka into bugs mouth it was cool.

queens town sucked to be honest

cromwell.holy fuck.  these cunts hooked us up hard.  got a motel room and a $30 steak and a bunch of free booze.   the best moment was when a dude yelled out "play something we all know"  and i dont think he was taking the piss

hawea  was choice.   oscar rolled a joint the size  of a mango

fox glacier.  oscar got naked and rode a horse saddle for 'fucking xtians'. it was crack up, cool, gay and disgusting all at the same time .  word will spread throughout  new zealand  to never encore us.

franz josef was a weird buzz. a couple of awkward moments occured when i washed my self in a sink and blocked the toilet with tissues and another when i went up to a pool table and started sinking balls and a bunch of dudes came up to me and said "hey thats our game of pool".  we had to pack down the same night drive to the next town , shit was intense.  the best bit was whena  dude said we sounded like metallica

that brings us to wednsday the 27th of october.  tonight we are playing in hokitika.  cool