(so ur a rocket scientest?)that dont impressa me much

on behalf of rackets i would like to apologise about the lack of updates. i have no doubt our massive fan base have been doing nothing but sit here on our blog hitting refresh waiting to hear about our wacky hijinks.  what did we write about last time?? oh yeh   mussel inn.  cool.  after that we dropped off our two american friends  and drove 15 hours to port chalmers.  me and oscar drafted up our first 'guido massacre' song.  its about an agrophobic guido called "the house mange".  we chilled out at port for a couple of days and refilled our ballsacks.   we busted a massive load  over the crowd the next night at  the cook in dunedin. altho the crowd  had diminished by the time we played cause every basically had rocked up to see there old mates alizarin lizard and left before we played. ALL Good tho,  they rocked the fuckin party and incited one of the most fucked up mosh pits id ever seen,it caused me to shit and piss at the same time  and i even saw one womens tits explode.it was mean. the next night we played at chicks hotel.we all dressed as guidos for the show. me and oscar drank a little bit to much and after wards vinnie said "wat the fuck". fair call vinnie. hector described the show as "gimmicky".   i think i talked to much shit. 

after that we drove up to lyttleton and played a show at el santo.  what a fucking cool place that is. crowd was decent as fuck  , it was basically good cunt fest 2010 with most of chch's good cunts making the trip out.  next day we drove to timaru.  the bar we played at was called "no 8 wired" and had tui themed decor along with fords hanging from the roof.they hooked us up a mean feed and a hotel room.  i went to sleep to the sound of 7 dudes makin masterbating noises as a joke and cracking up. i took the opputunity to actually rub one out and no one was none the wiser. next night we travelled up to  picton to play a show  but it turns out yeh we wernt actually  playing and instead a dude played ska music on his acoustic guitar. the owner still let us crash at his batch tho.  next day we  jumped on the ferry. paul cathro played some songs and it was kind of awkward because he was playin right in front of the rugby  and they had to go turn off the sound for him to start. a couple of old rugger buggers looked like they wanted to make him walk the plank off the boat!!!!LOL.   fuck im runnin outta steam.  1 sec brb.

the next show we played was in Paekakariki. we played to a 70 year old lady who was drunk and stoned , she let us crash at her house and fondled callums ballsack in the kitchen.   next day we ventured into wellington and met up with my gf maddi. good as bitch made the mish down so props to her.  we played outside of cosmic corner at 4.20. that was mean at least 200 people showed up to see us play/walk past us. chur wellington city.  that night we played at mighty mighty.  was a fuckin mean turn out and the crowd  was a bunch of cool dudes. later that night i went clubbing  and did a back spin on the dance floor.  "somebody spin my legs". 

we travelled up to palmerston and played at this place called 'royal hotel'.  we played with this fuckin mean band called "wolf pacts".  basically fuck all people showed up  but who cares man , we had a great time and gave it our heart and soul and basicaslly rocked the roof off the joint woo hoo!! got a mean hotel room as well.  i got a room with an en suite.but the en suite was just a carpeted room with a sink. not even any soap or a towel. wtf!! oh well i chucked a piss in there anyway all good. im sorry to start every sentence of this blog with "next day".  next day we travveled to gisborne and played at this place called "smash palace".  possibly the coolest venue ive ever seen.  there was an airoplane crashed into the side of it and cars coming out of the trees  and all sorts of crazy/buzzy shit. the bouncer was this fat cunt called 'womble'.  the whole night he told me i should write a song about greed.  "you could write about politicians, oil,  fat cats on queen street. it could be a hit man!!" he made me promise to come and save him from gisborne if i ever made money from it.  i found out later he had been hit in the head with a crowbar a while back and hasnt been the same since. 

we drove to napier the next day to play at cabana. i have nothing cool to say about this. about 20 people showed up. a lady called julia let me and the boys and maddi stay at her house.  my bed had a goosebumps blanket on it.  in the shower the was a frog radio.  that brings us up to now.  im staying at my dads house a couple of days until we go and play raglan on wensday. since the beginning of this tour i have put on weight, gotten stinkier and now have a rash on my inner thigh. i am probably 10% more hideous then when i started. i no longer have a house to live in. the future is not bright, my goal is to strangle one dread with his one dread  and replace him as auckland cities #1 social pariah. wish me luck guys!!